Thursday, March 31, 2005

 The Full Plate 

As of today I've been in Fort Collins for 4 months. It's been a terrific time overall, getting adjusted to a very new way of living. Having a house is excellent - and having a ton of free time in which to enjoy it is all the better.

So here I am, having moved to Colorado, away from a good-paying high-tech job, with no current job, and no actual employment or even a plan on the horizon. And yet, I feel as busy as I ever have. So what the hell am I doing these days?

Well, first off, it's not completely accurate to say that I have no plan. I actually do have a plan. It's a subtle plan. Perhaps it's even a meta-plan. But it is something, a gradualistic evolutionary approach toward a new way of living.

One of the things I most anticipated when I left Yahoo was having the time to pursue one or several of my interests, so that I could determine whether any particular one of them could lead to a new vocation and a career. One of my personal peccadilloes of all time is indecision when it comes to career management. I had this problem as an undergraduate, and again in grad school, and again during my tenure in private industry. I just enjoy too many damn things for my own good, and my desire to keep all these disparate doors open and not letting any of them close outright has driven me nuts my whole life. Not to mention that it probably confused the hell out of people close to me.

It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking that as a 37-year old, it's probably naive to think I can change this aspect of my personality. Perhaps. But this hiatus is a grand once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to find that out for certain once and for all. So why not delve into all these hobbies of mine? That is, throw the whole slew against the wall, and see what sticks. Surely gravity will draw me toward whatever it is that I truly care about the most. At worst I'll still be like a drowning man unable to choose between a dozen life preservers thrown toward him - but even then, I'll at least take comfort knowing that this is an unchangeable trait of mine. More likely, I think I will in fact discover what I can do that which will motivate me and make me the productive individual I know I can be. Pursuing all of them with equal vigor is certainly impossible, so something had better emerge from all this. It's time for me to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Sheesh.

Anyway, so what all is on my plate?

So that's a start. I should be adding 'writing' to this soon (including blogwriting), but I think I need to prove that I can keep that up for more than a week or two at a time before saying I actually do it.

I hope to add climbing, guitar playing, and weather study to this list soon too. All in good time...and all part of a good time.

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